Grieve Not the Spirit in Your Marriage

Grieve Not the Spirit in Your Marriage

I see a number of faces I haven't seen before, and that's a joy, to see that, and man, I love to hear men sing the sweet songs of Zion. Well done. That was well done. That blessed my soul.

I failed to introduce my sweetheart. This is my sweetheart Glenda. My help meet for me.

And I'd ask you to turn down your scriptures to the New Testament to Ephesians chapter 4, Ephesians chapter 4 to help if I got there also. Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, John and the electric power company, if you remember that.

Ephesians is what's called a prison epistle because Paul wrote this for prison. A prison unlike the one you and I would probably think of it was called the Mamerti in prison. It was a cavern like excavation in the ground It was underground, there in Rome, and you had to be lowered into it, and any supplies had to be lowered down there. Impossible to escape.

Well, I would say relatively impossible. Let's see how bliss you could levitate. Heh heh heh. But he wrote, and he read, and he wrote, and he read, and that dungeon, it's not really a dungeon like I think of it, This is one of the four prison epistles, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Philemon.

And Ephesians turned out to be a circular epistle. In other words, it was sent to the churches of Asia Minor. They agreed it and sent it on to the next church. So it was read by all the believers of that day. The first three chapters describe the position of believers. Chapters four, five, and six would describe the practice of believers.

And I'm gonna be focusing on chapter four, beginning at verse 25, and I'll read that as you can just follow my reading. Wherefore, putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be ye angry and sin not, let not the sun go down upon your wrath, neither give place to the devil.

Then skip to verse 29 if you would please. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, where you are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice and be kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Let's join our hearts in prayer. Our Heavenly Father, we gladly confess our love for Thee. Our thanks and appreciation for the many benefits of Thy grace in our lives. This chance we have to meet together on the Lord's Day, but believers of like precious faith to sing and to hear, son, these sweet songs of Zion.

Lord, now give us a hungry, teachable heart as we look in just a little bit more depth in the scriptures. Help me, Lord. I need thy special grace to do what I'm doing. We pray in Jesus' name, Amen.

I'd like to ask married couples here this morning a question if I may. Are there certain subjects that you no longer discuss? Because were you to do so, it would be the advent of World War III, just ask him, was your wedding recessional? The fight is on, I hope not.

You know, believing families have the same general pressures, problems, the human condition, neighbors ignore, but there's one striking exception. Believers know how to handle sin. We know how to deal with that. In verse 25, we see the first formula of our four formulas, and that's to be bravely honest, to be bravely honest.

Notice the wherefore. All four of these formulas are based on the new life that we have in Christ, which is described in verses 17 through 24. These are all a variation on the theme of putting off the old man with which we're born, putting on the new man that we have in Christ, verses 22 through 24.

In other words, we don't have to live as we did when we were lost souls. Now we have the power and the desire to live in a God-pleasing way. But in verse 25, we learn that being honest requires a change. Putting away lying, as he puts it here. Now, since we're commanded to do so, we probably won't naturally do so. God has to command us to do it.

And we come forth from the womb speaking lies, do we not? Every soul that comes into this world is born a liar. This word, putting away, comes from a word which means to to change a coat, interesting word. If I could put it this way, we're to remove the rags of dishonesty and put on the coat of truth speaking.

But many enter into their marriages with these rags of dishonesty, which is why I prefer courtship when I counsel young people about their futures. I really strongly suggest courtship rather than dating around, because dating is, well, in our county, where we live, we have a very sad place, very melancholy. It's the county divorce court.

I would imagine you have the facsimile of that here, this county, where you see these young people who at one time, I love you, I love you too. And now I'm crying, I hate you, I hate you too. What on earth happened? Well, dating sets that up, dating is based on lies.

Picture this guy, dirty, oily, greasy, moss on his tooth, but he meets this girl. And wow, I like what I see, so he invites her out to a meal. And so they come to this meal and she's sitting there, and she's giggling and giggling and he took a shower, he brushed his tooth. They really went all out for this occasion.

And during the meal she's saying, oh, I can't eat very much. She gets home and empties the refrigerator. What's going on here? Here's these two young people, Who are doing their dead-level best to deceive one another. Dating is based on that, the verification lies.

Whereas courtship, which is what I encourage, discovers truth, and you can find all about that if you're searching for a spouse. But dating is based on hidden agendas, whereas courtship discovers the truth that we all need to be aware of. In fact, we must do it.

This is what grammarians call the middle voice. In other words, this is our effort. So we've got to remove the rags of dishonesty, not when I feel like it, even when I don't want to. I've got to do it.

But many of us don't want to discuss anything until we're good ready. My spouse must suffer sufficiently first. Things must first go my way. That's the basis of many problems. I want my way. I can't wait for a more auspicious time. I can't wait for a more convenient time.

In fact, it's not only our effort, but it's what we call a decisive act. This is what's called an heiress tense. This isn't just wishful thinking. Deciding to be honest against my feelings is an act of maturity. It's an act of responsibility.

I decide to be someone, well, let me first do this. I'm gonna ask you a riddle, and I'm gonna try to trick you here, but someone always gets this, so it's not that hard. If you think you know the answer, please raise your hand. When is a door not a door?

intelligent child, that's absolutely correct, when is a door not a door, when it's a jar, when it's something else, that's the point of my question, a door is not a door when it's something else, So deciding to be honest against my feelings makes me a part of the problem instead of compounding and aggravating the situation.

Lies, on the other hand, seek to avoid pressures and humiliation, embarrassment, and problems, but in fact, only make problems bigger and more complicated. The world, when we think about blunt honesty, the world says, let the chips follow their way. That's a worldly expression, but now that might seem painful, difficult, but ultimately it's the best for all.

On a grand scale, most of us tend to be one of two things. We either tend to be a clam or a volcano. Now clams clam up, but because they clam up they get high blood pressure, spastic colon, and migraines, et cetera, because they clam up. They bottle up things. Whereas a volcano blows up.

So a volcano yells and shouts and throws things, creates an ugly scene. But both are acting like liars. Clams get ulcers. They clam up. Volcanoes give ulcers. They blow up. So, being honest requires a change, but what's the reason for being honest? Here's God's thinking, verse 25. We are members, one over nothing.

The physical body is to work together in this synergistic, cooperative way, just like the body of Christ. You know, this morning I'm so glad that worked out for me. I was in the bathroom there in this nice room that the church gave us to stay in, and I'm whacking off some whiskers.

And I'm so glad that when I pulled my razor down, my neck suddenly didn't turn my head, and I lost part of my proboscis. It worked all right. I didn't lose part of my proboscis. A member, quote unquote, is a part of a body. And Paul here is speaking to believers believers as being a part of the body of Christ.

Now it's illuminating that Paul first tells believers to stop lying. In other words, they already were. Believers lie, yeah. I know that's shocking. But believers lie. We are born speaking lies. We all have this predilection, this tendency this proclivity to cover up, to obfuscate, to deceive, to tell only part of the story, to shade the truth, to distort the facts.

Lying has many forms and shapes. And lying in many of its forms complicates and continues and magnifies the problems, whatever they are. It's only transparent honesty that can solve a problem God's way. and probably the best way I can think of defining that would be to accurately report past facts. Accurately report past facts.

So first formula, to be bravely honest. Second formula, be bitterness-free. Now there's three steps involved here. When I was pastoring, I often found myself having to do counseling, and often marital counseling, and I was counseling with this more mature couple.

As part of what my plan was, I said, now dear brother, I want you to give me like about four or five things that irritate you about your wife. Now don't mention the things that would go to the Third World War. Don't mention the big things. I don't want to know that right now. We're getting started on this.

So just little things, maybe she puts too much salt in the food, or maybe she eats with her mouth open. Just little things, but they irritate. Okay, preacher. And so he agreed. And then I said the same thing to her in about four or five things. Well, that next week arrived, and he only had one.

Brother, I asked her for more than that. Well, preacher, she's a pretty good guy like that. Oh, okay, all right. See, on the other hand, had four typewritten pages, single-spaced. All the felonies, the marital felonies he had committed.

In Proverbs 17 and verse nine, the Bible says, he that covereth the transgression seeketh love, but he that repeateth a matter seperateth very friends. Now back in the epistle we're in Ephesians 4, 32, and be ye kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

And who do I think I am that I should demand a different status? The love chapter in our New Testament is 1 Corinthians 13. And in verses 5 and 7 it says it's not easily provoked. Do any of us here have a hair trigger temper? I hope not. Bear with all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Now, if I'm an excellent historian, if I keep rehearsing the offense, if I keep records, if I keep books, then I don't really want to understand biblical love. And I'm not interested in solving problems God's way. You know, as Pastor indicated, we worked with girls for several decades. These younger girls, teenage girls for the most part.

I'll tell you what, some of those girls were like cats. I mean, unbelievable. We would finally get them, after hours and hours, to bury the hatchet. But they remembered where it was buried. Oh my goodness. What's the first step here? Disciplining our anger. Verse 26 puts this in an interesting way. Be angry and sin not.

Now is this an oxymoron? Well literally if I can take this liberty to put this literally While being angry, don't sin. In other words, control yourself. Temperance is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. It's maintaining self-control. Now, anger in and of itself is not sinful, because our God gets angry. So there's nothing inherently wrong with anger, but it can be sinful depending on how it's used.

because God's angry with the wicked every day of the week. So anger's a perfectly godly emotion if it's used in its proper way and proper context. Christ was in perfect self-control as an example when he cleansed the temple, and I've sometimes thought about that. Tables were being overturned, coins were flying, and animals were running for their lives, because Israel had turned their temple into a Walmart, for crying out loud, and so he had to cleanse the situation.

Now, since we're ordered to de-angry and sin not, we know we can. Because God will never order us to do something that's impossible. Well, some have said, well, preacher, when I'm upset, I just can't control myself. Okay. Picture, here's mom and dad, they're in the living room, and they're both sitting on the couch.

And they're talking about a very sensitive subject and because it's very sensitive and because they're both not in the spirit at that moment things are said that they shouldn't be said and said in a way that shouldn't have taken place and pretty soon tempers are, blood pressure's rising and it's getting very volatile and she's screaming at him.

And in the middle of her scream, the heart rings. Oh, so she shifts, and she sees with the caller ID, it's the biggest gossip in the county. She picks up the pope, hello there. So good to hear from you, why you big fat liar. You were just ready to tear your husband's head off, and now you're acting sweet as honey?

My friends, we can control ourselves when we want to. True, that's the truth. Anger is a perfectly godly emotion, because as I said, God manifests anger on occasions, but anger's not good when it's out of control. Even the plowing of the wicked gets God upset. Anger's an emotion designed to tear apart.

And it should be therefore used to tear problems apart, Not people. Tear the problems apart. Yeah, amen. Go after it. But don't be angry with people. James chapter 1 verse 20 says For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. What's that? That's anger out of control. That's directed toward a person in the wrong way.

So discipline or discussion is possible even when you're angry so long as it's under control and it's used to solve problems, not to hurt people. It's nothing to brag about. You ever talk to someone, yeah, you're kind of a bad temper, just the way I am, well you're also a jerk. That's nothing to brag about, that you have a bad temper, that you lose control of yourself.

Or I'm a shouter, I'm a screamer, I'm once posting a guy on the phone, and pretty soon, what's that banging in the back? My wife's breaking every instrument in the kitchen. Oh, okay. Don't brag about that, being a shouter or a screamer, or you throw things, you're irascible, bellicose, pugnacious. Children and immature adults lose control.

But my friends, we can't solve problems by increasing the decibels. us, shouting down one another, talking down one another, meant trying to control things in the situation. So what's the second step? First we discipline our anger. Now the second part of verse 26, daily reconciliation. Daily reconciliation. Notice how he puts Listen here, let not the sun go down on your wrath.

Well, look what we have here. In other words, the seeds of bitterness sprout into a living organism after 24 hours. Isn't that interesting? Well, that's what he says, let not the sun go down on your wrath, that's 24 hours. So, we've got, they have a timer on them. These seeds of bitterness have a timer. When you go beyond 24 hours, bad things start to happen.

So, the Lord gives us this 24 hour period in which to resolve our problems in a God pleasing way to prevent that bitterness from sprouting. One time I showed up at a church where I was scheduled to speak and there was police cars there. And cars, people standing, and this guy on his knees up by the front door filled in with the locks.

And I finally asked this guy standing, what's going on? They just had a big, nasty split. That guy's changing the lock so the other part can't get in. What a way to start your ministry. They obviously let 24 hours go by. And then some.

Many people let moons go down on their wrath, unfortunately, many people become excellent historians and because they never forgave or forgotten, they're thinking about this and then he said this and I said that and I forgot about that part, this is worse than I thought. That's what's going to happen when you keep rehearsing things like that.

It's that insensitive beast that causes these problems. He never says anything, he won't communicate. Her mouth is so big I could install a door on it. But actually we should, go back to our couple. They were on the couch, screaming at one another, and she dissolves into tears, runs for the bedroom.

And after about 30 minutes he's on the couch, and says, why did I say that? I shouldn't have said that, she's a good woman. Lord, I'm sorry, and she's in the bedroom, she's drying her eyes now, she's not crying anymore profusely, and she's, why did I act at them so bad, and he's a good man, and so they meet each other in the hallway, that's how it ought to happen.

Meet each other in the hallway, being reconciled. That's wonderful. The most spiritual person is the one who first seeks reconciliation. That's the most spiritual person. You know, if we have, I don't know, whatever your age happens to be, but if you happen to have your children still in the home, they're going to see these things happen.

They're gonna hear things said that shouldn't have been said. They're gonna hear things said in a way A way that shouldn't have been said, but they also should see reconciliation. They should see those things being dealt with in a gothic way, a self-controlled way. Are you, as married couples, experiencing the Grand Canyon between you and your spouse after retiring?

Well, just picture this situation. They had a big ugly fight, separate time, and it was just the culmination of many others before that, but things are smoldering, it's really a bad situation. So he gets to bed and he's taking off his clothes and he's piling all these problems, piling all these problems, and she's piling all these problems, now take all those problems, put them on the bed, put them on the bed, mountain of problems, now climb on top of that and be intimate with one another.

Impossible. Impossible. Unresolved problems makes marital intimacy absolutely impossible. The second step was daily reconciliation. Now let's look at the third step here in verse 27. Neither give place to the devil.

Now here's the unseen but very real spiritual world of demonic powers. A tail bearer and a contentious man, that's described in Proverbs chapter 26, beginning with verse 20, where no wood is, there the fire goeth out. So where there's no tail bearer, the strife cease it. As coals are to burning coals and wood is to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife.

Verse 22 goes on, the words of a tale bearer are as wounds and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly. My wife taught school for 500 years and as a consequence she often had playground duty and she would often hear these kids with their singsong words, words will never hurt me. I can't remember this stupid song now, words.

Six of stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. That's a lie. Words are like arrows, knives, swords. They're wound to the innermost part of your being. Words can do that. That's why we have to use First Corinthians 13 when we use words, use love when we use words.

We resist Satan by stopping bitterness from developing. What's his favorite weapons? A hammer and a wedge. That's his favorite weapons. Because what's he trying to do? He's trying to divide. He divides churches. He divides friendships. He divides married couples. He's a divider. So he uses a bitter person in an unresolved fight to drive wedges.

In First Corinthians 7-5 the Bible says that Satan tempts you not for your incontinency. When one spouse cuts off the other then Satan enters in, you know, they shouldn't have done that. Do you ever say no to your spouse? If one leaves the couch in an indignant huff, then Satan sits down beside you and says you're right and they're wrong.

When communication breaks down bitterness and resentment, fester like a boil. Don't complain about your spouse, your friend, to somebody else. Don't complain to someone else that's not directly involved in the situation. That's not someone who's seeking resolution. Problems only become bigger and more complicated when Satan becomes a part of the equation.

Don't get others to take up an offense against your friend, your spouse, whoever's involved. Now you're opening a door for satanic involvement and he's constantly looking for an opportunity to get involved. He's not just watching from the sidelines, he wants to get involved.

Well, let's look at the third formula, verses 29 and 30, pronounce blessings, not cursings. We do this in three ways. Verse, the first part of verse 29, let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth. What's a corrupt communication? That's something that's rotten. Putrid, excuse me, putrid, depraved, vicious, foul.

This is Christian cussing. Now that's an oxymoron, there is no such thing. But sometimes you'd think there was. This is speech deliberately uttered to hurt, to attack the other person. It's not only sticking the knife in, but twisting the knife. It's designed to wound. Corrupt communication is designed to wound.

Therefore it's not only words, but my motivation and my spirit. A spouse can hurt in a way that nobody else can. Why? Because the spouse knows the hot button issues that no one else knows. Those issues that will hurt the most. Now, to think evil's bad enough, but don't vocalize it.

Vocalizing evil thoughts complicates problems and certainly doesn't resolve them. And don't call names, lazy, fat, ugly, stupid, liar, big, fat, dumb, mulewitch, bigmouth, Bertha, etcetera. That attacks a person's character. That causes deep wounds. How much would I speak if I removed corrupt communication from my vocabulary?

When's the last time you said to your sweetheart, I love you. I hope that was this morning. Well, let's look at the second, with the first purified speech. Now, in the second part of verse 29, let's produce character. That which is good to the use of edifying, what's that? Ministering grace to the other person.

This means, obviously, self-control with my tongue. It allows it only to be used for edification. To edify means, literally, to build up, build up. To minister grace, what does that, to carry grace into effect. That's what that means, minister grace to the other, carry grace into effect.

How? Number one, stop insisting on my rights. Because I don't have any. Secondarily, let's look at the problem through the eyeballs of the other person. Here's two people, eyeball to eyeball, freeze that frame, leave your position, go around, look at the situation through their eyes. You would be amazed what you see by looking at the situation through their perspective.

Then say the blessing. Don't just think it. Say the blessing. Good thoughts are insufficient. The bible says a soft answer turns away wrath not a stony silence or a closed spirit. Remember clams and volcanoes create chaos. Clams get ulcers, volcanoes give ulcers.

The third way is to please the Spirit, verse 30. Grieve not the Holy Spirit of God. Now Paul states it negatively here. He says grieve not. This is what we call the imperative. In other words, we're already doing it. Stop it. Grieve not.

Quenching the Holy Spirit is not going far enough in doing right. In other words, I use my temper to bless and not to curse or to remain closed-spirited. Grieving the Holy Spirit is not going far enough, or going too far and doing wrong, rather, not controlling my tongue, for example, and my spirit.

Both my spirit and the Holy Spirit live in the same vessel. They ought not to be the odd couple. Is what I'm about to say going to please the Holy Spirit? The first time that I saw this, I was just, wow. When Judas came to the garden to betray our Lord and the Lord called him friend, I can think of a number of things I would have called him, but friend would not have been one of them.

But our Lord called him friend. Well, let's look at this last formula, of the fourth formula versus 31 and 32. Let's be a bridge builder. Two methods here. First method, stop burning bridges of communication.

And people use four torches to burn bridges of communication. The first one is the torch of bitterness. This is a kind of a smoldering fire, not even smoke yet. Is it smoldering over the smaller offenses, is that the chronic offenses, bitterness of spirit, bitterness of language, often over repetitive, trivial things.

Oh, it's that man again. I can't even get into the tub because there were 150 shampoo bottles for crying out loud. He keeps thinking his nose is public. Oh, it's gross. She won't do what I tell her. Little things that keep going on.

So the torch of bitterness, then the torch of wrath. Now you see the actual flame. Strong passion, emotion of mind, or the aftermath of a fight when feelings are still intense, or after a particularly hard day, Mom, your husband says, oh, I forgot to tell you, I've invited 24 people for supper tomorrow night.

Then the torch of anger. Now there's fuel on the flame. Torch of anger. Enraged, irascible, losing control. The husband striking his wife, which is never justified. Ever. Husbands don't strike wives. The wife screaming hateful words and throwing things like that situation I described to you earlier.

The torches of clamor and evil speaking, that threat to spread the flame, calling every name imaginable, it comes to your memory, cry for vengeance, if it's the last thing I do I'll get even with Putting one another down.

You know when we mention an offense to anyone other than the person involved we're not really interested in reconciliation. We've just made things worse. Well what's the fuel for the torch? Notice it's not love by the way. It's called malice. What's that? That's that malignant spirit, that's depraved feelings and emotions, the person who would say either out loud or in their mind, I'll rule or I'll ruin it.

If I get in my way, I'll ruin everything. That general word characterizing the rest. What's the results of this? Ulcers, high blood pressure, ulcerative colitis, wrinkles, walls, wedges, spastic, colon. No peace, no blessing. That marriage will be one long protracted war. Or sort interludes of peace and truce.

Let's put out the fire. Verse 31, be put away from you. We've just looked at natural reactions, natural responses. How would you like to live in Philadelphia in a row house where you are a two by four wall from your neighbor, you hear everything, they hear everything, no privacy whatsoever. That's how the world lives, but God expects supernatural responses.

And we are either God pleasing or self pleasing, that's that person who says I want my way. Okay, what's the second method? Let's start building bridges, verse 32. Let's lay down some planks. The first plank is what we would call the plank of kindness.

In other words, honor that other person. You know, when you first met your spouse, you thought they had value. Hmm, I like what I see. You went out of your way to spend time with them. You wrote poetry or whatever your personality is and you made lots of communication or attempts to and you wrote notes and sent cards and you were very sympathetic to this situation.

I like what I'm seeing here. You thought they had value, then honor the other person. Wishing, praying, doing well for them. Why should I? Just to please God. Just to please heaven. If you wait for just the right moment, it may never come. If you wait for them to deserve good treatment, that may never come.

This plank of kindness slides in like a groove. Then, verse 32, the plank of tender heartedness. Having strong bowels, interesting situation. That's the Old Testament way of showing compassion. Being compassionate, to feel, to sense, to experience the needs, the hurts, the fears of the other, and then acting accordingly.

In other words, I'm getting my mind off myself, which I love supremely, and getting my mind on the other person, and that plank of tender heartedness just slides in, Oh, it's just so easy to put that one in. Our Lord wept with compassion. Good example for you and me. It's not a virtue to be hard-hearted. It's not a virtue to be hard-boiled.

If my spouse is weak in a given area, show compassion instead of condemnation. That would be the Lord's choice. Then the plank of forgiveness, verse 32, that pardon, that giving grace. Excuse me, I accept him just the way he is. There are many fights for my refusal to do that. I don't accept them the way they are.

How does God forgive as far as the east is from the west, a point that's never reached? As deep as the deepest sea, the Mariana Trench, brother, way out there. Pronounce blessings, not curses, solve problems, don't complicate them. Be a bridge builder, don't be in the demolition industry. Build it up, don't burn it down.

You know, communication in any human relationship takes work. I'm not a very communicative person, but it doesn't. Now, my wife, on the other hand, could communicate wonderfully. But, you know, I've known some men who work two full-time jobs. Unbelievable to accomplish a given goal.

And I know some ladies who will just follow this scrupulously, follow this hand work, so intricate, all to obtain these goals. But we won't try in our marriage. Communication is basic to problem solving. Without it, problems grow, they get more complicated.

And I'll guarantee you this my friend, the God of this world doesn't want you to solve those problems. He doesn't want you talking. He doesn't want you humbling yourself. He doesn't want you to have a happy home. Our relationship will thrive or suffer depending on the quality of communication.

It's got to be regular and consistent, well, I don't talk very much, I'm kind of taciturn, you know. I want to learn how. You know, God gave us the Holy Spirit to interpret the book that he gave us called the Bible. He didn't clam up. He's meeting our needs and we need to do the same.

Some of us need to be as communicative and kind to our spouse as we are to the letter carrier or to the UPS courier. My friend's life is too short to live below our privileges in our marriage and we please the Lord by rising above our flesh and conquering our lower nature.

So to ask the question is my marriage a good picture of Christ in the church or is it one long war with short periods of truce. We all have problems of some kind. You can't live in this sin-cursed world without having problems and pressures. But let's not just tolerate them, let's solve them.

Then finally the third step here in verse 27, demonic resistance. Either give place to the devil, now here's the unseen, but very real spiritual world of satanic power. We resist Satan by stopping bitterness from developing. And again, his favorite weapon is what? A hammer and a wedge.

He's a divider. He attempts to divide, bring barriers between people and organic unity called marriage. And Satan uses a bitter person in an unresolved fight to drive wedges. 1 Corinthians 7, 5 puts it this way, that Satan tempts you not for your incontinency.

Remember, when you cut off your spouse, Satan enters in, you know, they deserve that. If one leaves the couch in an indignant huff, then Satan sits down to keep the pot boiling. And when communication breaks down, bitterness and resentment fester like a boil.

And problems become bigger and more complicated when Satan becomes a part of the equation. Don't complain about your spouse to somebody else. You've made the problem bigger. Don't get others to take up an offense against your spouse. you're opening a door for satanic involvement.

He's constantly looking for that opportunity to divide you. It would be good for all of us here who are married, your spouse is still living. How would the Lord, you know in school you get a grade, A, B, C, D, E, F. How would the Lord grade my marriage, my union? I leave you with that and ask Pastor to come.